Happy Anniversary!! It's a BOY!

At 4am I woke up to go to the bathroom and my chest killed. I tried to take a breath, it hurt so bad I started to cough. I called the nurse. She came in took my blood pressure and it was 190/110. She called in another nurse with another BP machine...again it was high. This is one sign the the PreE was getting worse. Another nurse came in..and within 5 minutes there are 5 nurses in my room talking and poking and looking anxious. By 4;30 they had called the Dr and he was on his way in. About 5am they called Jamie and told him I was having trouble breathing and he should come in. The next hour was totally insane. All at once my clothes were being taken off, gown put on, IV's, catheters in and wheeled out to prep for surgery. I was having this baby now.

Jamie made it just in time. They explained to him what was going on. The "bomb" had gone off, my blood pressure was off the charts and I was having congestive heart failure, the baby needed to come out now. The C Section was so creepy, I repeated that over and over to Jamie...ick, i totally didn't like it. I could feel everything!! It was soo awesome though when they took the baby out and said "It's a boy!!".

We did it!! We made a baby!! So amazing :-)

Preeclampsia

On Thursday I met with the high risk Dr I had been seeing in the beginning of my pregnancy. The first time we met with her she reviewed my file from this pregnancy and the previous one and determined I had placenta issues. She said that she felt that was the reason why I lost Sam, and there was nothing that could have been done. She said this pregnancy would be watched closely.
So when we met with her on Thursday she did an ultra sound and said immediately that I had severe preeclampsia. The babies stomach was small compared to the rest of his body, which meant he was not getting the nutrients from the placenta that he was supposed to be in order to grow. She said I was not going home until the baby was born and that could be in a day, a week a month. She said I was a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off.... I called Jamie crying once again. Why why why couldnt this just be a normal pregnancy????

How it Began

For a couple of weeks I was really not feeling well, completely exhausted but I just figured that was natural I was chasing Bella around and I was pregnant but it just getting worse. Friday, September 11th I went shoe shopping...what an adventure, NOTHING fit. I went from 6 1/2 and was now purchasing a size 9 shoe...huh?? And by the next morning that shoe barely fit. I'm sitting getting my hair done watching my feet puff up by the minute. Again, pregnant, swelling is normal, right?? So that night we leave Bella with Jamie's parents pack up and head to LI for a wedding. My shoes, again barely fit. I pretty much sat the whole night. The next morning I woke up and they were HUGE, but I ignore them. On the way home we stop by Jones Beach and take a nice walk. Who knew it was the last peaceful time alone before our world totally went insane.



On the way home I started noticing my hands were getting puffy. I suddenly remembered the high risk Dr telling me that I was at risk for Preeclampsia, I looked it up on the web and started reading the symptoms to Jamie. I kind of felt like I was overreacting..but it seemed possible.

When we got home I could barely walk and my mother in law made me call the dr she said my face looked swollen too. Who wants to call and bother a Dr on a Sunday when most likely it's totally normal?? But I did, thank God.

He also said it was probably nothing but to meet him at the hospital. So we got back car. My blood pressure was a little high and there was protein in my urine, both signs of PreE. He decided he wanted me to stay for the night for observations. He wanted an hourly check of my BP and a 24 urine collection. So i spent the a very uncomfortable night having the stupid BP wake me up every hour on the hour.

About 11am the next morning, one of the other Dr's from my practice said I could go home but to come to the office the next day, Tuesday.

So Tuesday I go in my BP is really high, they make me lay down on my left side for 10 minute take it again and it's all good. So he says come back again tomorrow to see the high risk Dr.

Wednesday I go in they do a full work up, check the baby and tell me I am to go to the hospital for more observations. It was Wednesday and I would be there atleast until Sunday. They still were not convinced it was PreE but all the signs were saying so and they were starting to getting worried.

We went home got my stuff, I called Jamie at work and cried, I was just so frustrated this whole pregnancy all I kept thinking about was how I wanted to be "normal" have a "normal" pregnancy...this was not part of my plan.

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY BELLA!!!!

WOW I can't believe it's already been a year!!!! Last year at this time we were laying on a hotel bed, showered, dressed and very anxious waiting to hear from Ashley or her mom at the hospital. We had no idea what the next couple days had in store...would Bella really become our daughter??? And now I'm sitting in the kitchen at the lake, Bella just had her bday breakfast...pancakes and she is running around like a maniac!

This has been such an amazing year. :)

Forever Since I posted!

Yup it's been a while.

Everything is going great..still pregnant and Bella is still amazing :) we're both growing like crazy.

Bella is soo close to walking, she took a step today and by the look on her face it was a total accident and one she was not going to repeat. However, she will walk holding just one of our hands and uses everything as her walker..even the Sadie. She walked all around the mall yesterday pushing her own stroller!

The pregnancy is going strong, I am almost 19 weeks. Pretty sure we felt the baby last week..but nothing since. I do have my trusty heart monitor, so whenever I am nervous it helps tremendously. We've been going to the Dr every other week since the beginning and having regular scans, that helps alot too. We decided not to find out what the baby is which is total opposite of what i have always felt but i think it's a little mental protection. It's hell of alot more real when you know what the baby is and the baby has a name, I'm not prepared for that again. 19 weeks exactly is when we found out we lost our baby boy, that's coming up...so is July 19th..the day we would have met him. It's hard to wish things had turned out different because then we would not have Bella and there is no way we'd wish that. She makes every day so awesome :)

Bella is almsot 11 months...can't believe it!!
Her favorite things:

To Play With...remote controls, sunglasses and phones

To Eat...Anything but peas! So far for people food she's had bacon, pancakes, chicken, steak, yogurt, potatoes, apples, strawberries

To Say..."what's up?"..or something that sounds exactly like that, Dada is still a favorite and Mama only happens when she is hungry, go figure ;)

Jamie is out golfing right now so Bella and I had a little photo session, trying to get a picture for her birthday invitation.

I'm Pregnant!!!

haha, I've been waiting weeks now to be able to post that!!

Back in March we went away for a weekend with friends to the lake..Friday night, lots of drinks..Saturday not feeling so good but thought maybe because of the night before. I ended up going to bed very early by lake standards and still did not feel so good on Sunday. When we got home I went grocery shopping...I thought about buying a test but i've bought soooo many useless tests in recent years that i was trying to talk myself out of it...didn't work, bought the test. Came home and Voila there was that second pretty pink line..well, barely :)

When I told Jamie (and Bella) he was was like "how??" lol, but was very happy...then we came back to reality and realized we've been here before (like this past January) and knew not to get to excited. We decided to actually wait a week before calling the Dr this time, and just see how things went. Well the tests kept getting darker so finally I called for an appt.

To back up a little this is my 6th (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, SIX) pregnancy that I know of, the most recent being this past January. When I found out I was pregnant then..I wasn't happy. I wasn't ready. I had plans. I was scared. I was pissed..I wasn't ready to go through dissapointment again. And that is exactly what I thought about through 3 ultra sounds where they said "it's still a little early to see anything" and "we can't find it" until I miscarried at 6 weeks. And then I was sad...I had wanted it.

So this time around, I was thrilled. I felt like it was a 2nd chance (or 3rd or 4th). I went to my OB, she's awesome and she knew I was a little hesitant. We took it slow. Just blood monitoring, no ultra sounds yet. As my hormone levels kept rising appropriately we started getting more optomistic so finally did an ultra sound. It was a little over 6 weeks...we saw a baby but no heartbeat. Here we go again, i was losing hope. They told us to come back in a week. I had zero optomism left by the following week, i knew there would still not be a heartbeat..i just knew it. We were on our way to our friends wedding in Cape Cod and I just kept thinking I was going to be in limbo again all weekend...I was miserable.

When I was laying there and she started to do the scan I couldn't breathe...she quickly went over my belly trying to get a good view and as she did my heart stopped, i saw it, I saw the little teeny flutter on the screen...oh my God. She saw it too and quickly went back and the sound of our babies heart beat came on Jamie and I both lost it. We had done it, we had FINALLY made a baby on our own that looked like it had a chance. Holy Sh*t.

When we were done with the ultra sound, the tech said she was going to find my Dr. By the time we got out into the hallway my Dr was running down saying "YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!" and gave me a huge hug. The tears came again... :)

The baby is now almost 13 weeks old and still kicking..literally as we saw on yesterdays ultra sound. We've been to the Dr every other week, and seeing a high risk Dr as well. I am no longer nervous, still very shocked (!) but more than anything happy. I no longer freak out on my way to each Dr's appt, which is a nice change from my previous pregnancy. All I keep telling myself is that the worst thing possible happened to us last year and Bella was the good we recieved out of that hell...we were lucky. As hard as it's been I've had faith, not always hope but faith that all of this was happening for a reason...years of trying, then losing a baby after all that effort, then Bella born into our arms one month after I was supposed to deliver a baby and now this. It's all amazing. So amazing.

We had recently started talking about whether or not to go back to RMA (fertility clinic) or start the adoption process again. We wanted to have a full year all about Bella, to enjoy all her firsts, so we were thinking sometime around January. To not have to think or plan is such a welcome blessing. We are so excited that Bella is going to be a big sister, they will be 16 months apart...we hope they'll be so close :)

Per my first ultra sound, where they determine the due date based on size I am due December 14th. In my opinion, based on dating due to severe ovulation pains I say December 10th! The ultra sound tech at the high risk dr agreed with me...so we'll see!

6 Weeks 5 Days


8 Weeks 3 Days (Baby Measuring 9 weeks)



10 Weeks 1 Day (Baby meauring 10w 6d)



12 Weeks 1 Day (Baby measuring 12w 4d)

Florida

We took a short trip to Florida so my aunt could meet Bella. It was a great trip, so happy we made it! Next time we'll stay longer... I promise :)




Bella & Aunt Lorraine


Bella's first time in the Gulf...she loved it!!


Buried in the sand..


..eating Sand :)

My First Mothers Day!!

Mothers day this year was so awesome! Last year we had recently lost the baby and had no idea when we would finally become parents..it was very hard. The difference of one year is so unbelievable :) We went to the lake with my parents, Jamies parents usually come as well but his grandfather is not doing very well so they wanted to stay with him. Bella went on her first boat ride...totally unphased until we put the life jacket on..not a fan :) She looked at the waves for a couple of minutes, cried a little and then passed out for the rest of the ride. The rest of the weekend was pretty low key. For my first mothers day I got PJ's, a bath robe and adirondack chairs!! It was so great.

Adoption Finalized!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE got the best news in the world yesterday...Bella's adoption was finalized!!!!!! With Ashley, her birthmother, that part was final 7 days after Bella's birth but the states NC & NY wanted part of the action too and they're part took forever!!! But it's over now!!! NO one can take our daughter away, she's been our in our hearts since she was born but now she's ours in every way. So awesome that it's all over..I can't even explain. We weren't worried but to have a child has been a long process and so many people have been in our "business" from Dr's to Lawyers for years now. So, to know no one is poking, proding or investigating us is just SUCH an amazing feeling! It was all worth it but glad it's done. LOVE YOU BELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bella's 2nd Time at the Lake

This weekend we went to the lake, it was an awesome weekend! We stayed at Stantons, Stoeckers stayed as well. Kristin, Dan, Heather and Jim all came over for dinner on Saturday night. Mima, Poppy and uncle Pat were around too!! Bella had a great time with her new friends!