What a Difference 2 Years Makes

Two years ago today Jamie and I heard the worst words ever "I'm sorry, there is no longer a heartbeat.." And that was it, our world came crashing down on us. We had been through so much to get pregnant with that baby boy, that to lose him was pain like I've never known. I was just about 5 months pregnant. His name was Sam.

I don't feel sorry about what happened because without that loss we would not have the 2 precious gifts we have now. But I do often wonder about him, especially since Henry was born...what would he have looked like, who would he have looked like.

I wish someone could have told me 2 years ago that every thing would be ok, but honestly I think I knew that. However, I never would have dreamed that we would now have 2 children. It's absolutely amazing what can happen in such a short period of time with a little hope and faith. ;)

18 Months Old!!

A year ago at her 6 month appointment!! lol


I can not believe Bella is already 18 months old. Time truely does fly when you are having fun. Jamie and I can not believe how much she has changed recently. When she wakes up from her naps I feel like even her hair grew in that hour!! I honestly do not think a day has passed where she has not made us laugh, she is such a happy funny goof ball! She does not stop moving from the second she wakes up until she lays her head down. I was hoping to put her in some type of tumbling class but after one family outing to the mall resulted in us getting the stomach virus I decided to wait. Luckily Henry did not get the bug, which lasted for 5 days! We can't risk him getting sick right now, so she'll just have to keep bouncing off the furniture, which she does soooo well! One more snow storm this week and then hopefully we can start going out to get some fresh air, it's been a LONG winter!

Bella had her 18 month appt today, luckily she only needed one shot! Barely phased her.
Afterwards her and I went to the park and then to lunch. It was such a nice day. It really made me realize how big she is getting. No strollers, no bottles...now if we could do no diapers that would be awesome! No rush though. we're just enjoying every minute.

5 Months Today!!!!

WOW, I totally can not believe it has been 5 months since Henry was born. 5 months since I woke up Saturday, September 20th and had trouble breathing, no clue that that was the signal that the pregnancy was about to be finished for better or worse. 5 months of insanity, tears, smiles, fear, love, laughter, anxiety, family, friends, new and old, and lots of compassion. It's been an amazing experience, not all bad, definetly not all good, but none the less an experience. And because of the little prince sleeping peacefully next to me, I wouldn't change a minute of it.

Lots of new things going on. Most exciting is Henry hit the 10lb mark this week!!!!! So exciting. He has had a rough couple of weeks, with feeding and reflux. We had been trying new formulas trying to find one that works for him and in the process he ended up losing weight. But we are back on track now, he is eating pretty well. He still has some difficulties so we will be having an Early Intervention (EI) speech/feeding evaluation soon...hopefully we can get him some help. When babies have feeding issues, it tends to lead to speech issues later on.
We had a conference yesterday with the EI people regarding his OT/PT services and he was approved for once a week for a year! That is so awesome considering we were told he might only receive it once a month since he was doing so well. It's great that he is doing well, but things can change so quickly at this age, we don't want to miss anything. And babies born under 1000 kg have a very high risk for issues...he was 945g.
He has also been off oxygen for almost a week!!

Bella will be 18 months tomorrow, crazy how time flies :)

Exciting Stuff!!

HENRY SMILES!!!!

All of a sudden Saturday he just started smiling. He has done "gas" smiles since he was in the hostpital but this was acutally a social smile. Jamie and I were so excited, normally you have to wait 6-8 weeks to see your baby smile.. we have been waiting months. It was so awesome. The above picture was at the pediatricians office, she saw it too, so we're not crazy! lol

Speaking of pediatricians office, I went all by myself today. I actually had anxiety dreams about how I would accomplish this....could I manage both babies? would the new monster double stroller even fit in the elevator at the office?? It did! There was a whole lot of "You can do this" haha and I did. People probably thought I was nuts, because I WAS talking to myself, alot. We made it on time and everything. Henry now weighs 9 lbs 9oz. His growth this time was not as big as in the past couple of weeks, but we kind of expected that since he is spitting up so much because of the acid reflux and his gag reflexes. We are going back to the Gastro Dr tomorrow, maybe she will increase the prevacid dosage or we'll switch formulas. Then in the afternoon we have the Physical Therapy evaluation at Blythdale Childrens Hospital. Luckily my mom is coming tomorrow to watch Bella and Jamie is taking the day off to go to the appointments. (Right now he is test driving a MINIVAN! haha...I'm actually so excited.)

Henry is doing awesome with his oxygen! Saturday night we actually had him off for 8 hours, and then a couple more on Sunday, he tolerated it really well. We are just testing it little by little.

Bella has been amazing through all of this, she is very interested in Henry...in the picture below she is actually standing ON his oxygen tank trying to get a peek at him.